It's my dad's birthday

and fuck no I aint gonna stop posting shit that no one reads because I found out someone started reading it. I'm not even gonna fuckin deal with any of this I don't want to be stuck in the middle of something and I don't want to get into something that I know wont end well and I KNOW THIS WONT END WELL. He needs to understand that while what we had was amazing, it's not here anymore. Because I'm not letting it be here, because it was a time in our lives that is passing, and I have things I have to move on to do and so does he whether he realizes it or not. There isn't a single man on this earth that's gonna hold me back regardless of their feelings towards me or mine towards them. Some people think that if you find someone you love you should give everything up for them, but that's not how I work, that's not how I was raised, and that's just not gonna happen with me. If you have a wonderful relationship and it ends for whatever reason, then it is ended and that just means that there's someone else waiting for you somewhere else. You just gotta have patience, and ya gotta look. That's part of life, so ya gotta live it. To it's fullest, not until you get dumped and feel like shit 'cause of it. What I'm tryin to say here is we all just need to move on. Don't waste your days when you've got so much waiting for you. I don't have the guts to say this to his face, but there's no way we can try again. Because I'm not putting my heart in soul in that again, especially when I know it'll only be for a few months before ripping apart again. Ball and I are no more, for good. If he reads this he'll find out, if not he'll probably find out soon enough anyway.

And now I will move on to say that I cannot wait for this weekend. Jesse better do a damn good job on my tattoo!! Oh also it as actually my dad's bday today but I aint sayin' shit to him 'cause he didn't say shit to me on my 18th until like 8PM which means that he didn't bloody care enough to takes FIVE MINUTES out of his goddamn day to call and say "Happy 18th Abby". Shit, that doesn't even take 5 minutes, that takes about 30 seconds! For fuck's sake he could've at least texted me: HAPPY BDAY or even just HBD or fuck he didn't even have to capitalize it hbd would've been fine as well. So. THERE YA GO, DAD. Thanks. And yes I do feel like holding a grudge about that. And now I've gotta go to work. Yay.