No reason for me to sit through a 2 & a half hour ceremony outside in the wind & rain for a sister who is never home, doesn't care about anyone else in her family, and only uses her parents for money. So, why did I go? Because I'm stupid? Yes. Because Kayla told me she wanted me to go? Yes.
Fuck.
Let's just say, it was a bad experience. And now, it's the evening before my lovely Ball is leaving for three months. Not to forget that my lovely Rowan is also leaving, but she's only leaving for a week, I'll be with her all summer aside from this first week, and she's not my boyfriend. Anyways... You'd think I'd spend my last day with him actually with him, but, no. I chose a goddamn graduation over him - although throughout the entire day with her, she ignored my existence 98% of the time. And after the graduation, I had to go to lunch with my Dad's side of the family and my sisters, and Kayla's boyfriend. You know, the little pipsqueak that I can't fucking stand worth shit. I really, and I know I'm probably selfish for saying this, hate seeing him around my family. It's my family. You can't do what you've done to me and one of my closest friends and then hang out with my family like you fit in, like you're welcomed, like anyone should give you the time of day. No. My entire lunch I wanted to take my little knife out of my pocket and put it right up against his throat like he did to me with that huge one, and tell him just what he told me, "I'm not afraid to use this," and then prove my words to be true by slashing his fucking throat. Now, when he's not around my family, I couldn't care less about him. Fuckin' marry my sister, I don't care, just don't come near my family. It's people that love me, and have loved me for 17 years, and have taken care of me and raised me to be who I am today, and you think you can come in and give them your fake little smile and get their fucking approval. If my family knew what you had done to me, they would make sure you were fucking sent back to Mongolia. So don't give them that stupid goddamn smile like you're such a sweet fuckin' polite-ass kid, that's fucking complete bullshit.
Anyways. That's my venting, I'm done now.
My Grandma Ba will be home soon and wants to go meet the baby goat, BooBoo, out at Faith. Once I've shown her BooBoo I'm going to sit around and watch TV until Ball gets here around 8... and then I'm going to curl up in a ball in his arms and tell him he's a stupid dick for leaving. Except not really, I'm just still being over dramatic and stupid because of dj. Most likely we'll end up watching a movie and falling asleep, like usual. And tomorrow Mikki and I are driving Ball and Boat to Seattle to the airport to see them off. And then Mikki and I are going to cry, and then celebrate, and then listen to good music all the way home, and if it rains I'll be angry.
I also currently have a hangnail.
Fuck.
Let's just say, it was a bad experience. And now, it's the evening before my lovely Ball is leaving for three months. Not to forget that my lovely Rowan is also leaving, but she's only leaving for a week, I'll be with her all summer aside from this first week, and she's not my boyfriend. Anyways... You'd think I'd spend my last day with him actually with him, but, no. I chose a goddamn graduation over him - although throughout the entire day with her, she ignored my existence 98% of the time. And after the graduation, I had to go to lunch with my Dad's side of the family and my sisters, and Kayla's boyfriend. You know, the little pipsqueak that I can't fucking stand worth shit. I really, and I know I'm probably selfish for saying this, hate seeing him around my family. It's my family. You can't do what you've done to me and one of my closest friends and then hang out with my family like you fit in, like you're welcomed, like anyone should give you the time of day. No. My entire lunch I wanted to take my little knife out of my pocket and put it right up against his throat like he did to me with that huge one, and tell him just what he told me, "I'm not afraid to use this," and then prove my words to be true by slashing his fucking throat. Now, when he's not around my family, I couldn't care less about him. Fuckin' marry my sister, I don't care, just don't come near my family. It's people that love me, and have loved me for 17 years, and have taken care of me and raised me to be who I am today, and you think you can come in and give them your fake little smile and get their fucking approval. If my family knew what you had done to me, they would make sure you were fucking sent back to Mongolia. So don't give them that stupid goddamn smile like you're such a sweet fuckin' polite-ass kid, that's fucking complete bullshit.
Anyways. That's my venting, I'm done now.
My Grandma Ba will be home soon and wants to go meet the baby goat, BooBoo, out at Faith. Once I've shown her BooBoo I'm going to sit around and watch TV until Ball gets here around 8... and then I'm going to curl up in a ball in his arms and tell him he's a stupid dick for leaving. Except not really, I'm just still being over dramatic and stupid because of dj. Most likely we'll end up watching a movie and falling asleep, like usual. And tomorrow Mikki and I are driving Ball and Boat to Seattle to the airport to see them off. And then Mikki and I are going to cry, and then celebrate, and then listen to good music all the way home, and if it rains I'll be angry.
I also currently have a hangnail.
I love you.
ReplyDeleteI love you too <3
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