can't make me

Just kidding. I don't even know what I'm referring to. Moving on with life...

ROWAN IS COMING BACK FUCKIN FINALLY!!!!!!! And also Kayla is back and Kayla and I made potstickers last night and it was VERY HARD :( but tasty!

I went to the dentist today to get the 1/4 of my back molar that was missing filled in... lol... They were really busy and gave me 2 extra shots of novocaine rather than waiting for the normal amount to set in and so my entire face was numb for the next 3 hours (my mouth is still numb now, 4 hours later, but at least it's not my entire fuckin face now). Did I mention that I had to go out to work with a completely NEW person today? Yeah. Never met her before, in fact I didn't even know her name! and I had to go out and meet her and her horse - his name is BooBoo, by the way - while I could barely pronounce my own goddamn name! jesus!

Nowww it's 4pm and I'm going to Burlington in about 45 min to go watch the LOTR 3 extended edition in theaters with my sisters, cousin Morgan, sister's friend Kathy and my GMA... Gma wants to get there 2 hours early!!! and its like over 4 hours long. yeah. fuckkkk me sideways! and I can't have anything to eat/drink that's too hot or cold! :((( fuck me sideways again!

I've begun my study of witchcraft! I purchased a few books and will be purchasing a few more and see what I think of the whole matter :) Right now I only have a few Patricia Telesco books and an herbal book by Silja.. I used to have more books of the sort but I gave them away a while back thinking I wouldn't ever have a use for them... skdhf;ajkshf regret now! Oh well :P


And now. I am done.

sleepy abby

yeah... sleepy sleepy abby abby

yeah...

um...

I got... uh

4 1/2 hours of sleep

or so... maybe an extra minute or two .. or maybe a minute or two less
ANYWAYS

I wanted to buy a piko piko hammer today but I checked my wecu account and it was all EMPTY

whyyyyyy

BECAUSE WOODS SUCKS 

Really lonely

I'm dreading this weekend... My parents will be gone.. well my mom comes back saturday night but Ray will be gone all weekend and my mom for half of it and Rowan is gone and Kirsten has once again totally ditched me for Sierra - no surprise but right now I need a friend.. I would hang out with Mikki, since she's like my sister, but honestly its really depressing being with her since when we're together all we can think about is Boat and Ball and we totally just make our depression worse.. lol... I'm so desperate to get my mind off of Ball that I'm making myself as busy as possible... I'll be working at Faith this morning, then going straight to Amber's (yes, AMBER even) to help them get ready for two Belgians moving in, and then back to Ferndale to work with Rowan's mom and Poppy, then back to Faith to ride Skyy, then back home to work in my garden... My day is totally full. You'd think this could keep me from feeling so lonely and sad... It doesn't. Yes, it helps, but not entirely.

What I really really need is for Rowan to get back! Because she's the only friend I want to be with now... I mean jesus... I'm all emotional and pathetic and that's not like me at all and I'm mad that I'm like this because I feel like I should stay strong like I always am but I would be so happy if Ball killed someone to get a plane ticket  back home right now. No joke. It's that bad. I need Rowan to come over and smack me in the head and tell me to stop being ridiculous and then give me a hug and then do something crazy so I will stop thinking about him.

askdhgalkgfdjlcugrejks. FUCK. I have to get over this! It's not the end of the world! He's coming back in like 3 months, and then he'll be stuck with me forever or until I get tired of him, and until he comes back I can suck it and fucking spend time with my friends and get shit done and better myself as a person  and learn to cook and aklgljndsvs. 

Still gone.. When does my Rowan get back though? T^T

It's Thursday... My baby left on Sunday.. It's funny how my phone battery is never lower than 75% now - the only thing its used for is my calender and music, no texting or calling beside the occasional call to my mom or if someone texts me... I love skype so much... I can fall asleep with my Bally even when he's not here. :P

I rearranged my room, and my bed is now by my open window. It's more organized I think than it usually is, and I'm happy with it. I took everything off my walls and rearranged those also, and although I'm not yet done with that part (there's a lot), I'm putting a lot of thought into where I put things. It is harder to fit everything now though, because my desk didn't cover a wall before and only covered the window - my room is also now considerably brighter.

Rowan, if you're reading this... When you get back you have to watch Game of Thrones with me. It's awesome and I've made Kirsten and Mikki watch at least the first episode - Mikki loves it also (not so sure about Kirsten but who cares). I'll explain more later... But I know you're going to love it. :D It's a tv series on HBO OnDemand, and it consists of myths, nudity, incest, a lot of sex, and a lot of blood.

Moving on...
Troy had a birthday a few days ago. He had a big party at his house, and Rose's owner, Terry, was there. He talked to my mom a lot and I found out from her that he's about ready to give Rose to me. Rose's last owner was a man - you know, the owner who abused her. That man was also an alcoholic, so as soon as she's smells alcohol she loses her mind. Now, Terry is a very very nice, loving man. He's super friendly and loves animals. He also drinks a lot. When he does, he's even nicer and friendlier and more loving and loves animals a million times more... So Rose has nothing to fear, but she's a horse, so she smells the alcohol and hates him. Even when he's not drunk, he is still a man therefore she doesn't trust him. So, basically, he's given up and is ready for Rose to be my horse - however she will still live there. He hasn't brought the subject up with me personally yet, but if he's talked to my mom about it... Well, let's just say that Rose is my horse. :P

Anyways. Right now, its 9AM. In Thailand, is 11PM. Ball is on skype with me (he has been this whole time) and he's sleeping... So I'm going to hang up on him and start my day... After I write in my other blog :P

Miss Rosie Cotton...

Miss Eternally Two Blue Skyy Pie Tyra...

My horses :P

Gone, gone, gone...

My beautiful Bally is gone. For 3 months. I don't know how the fuck Rowan can stand being so far away from the man she loves... I'm about ready to lose it and Ball hasn't even been gone an entire day yet... And now that I type that out, it makes me feel really pathetic. Anyways...

Mikki, Boat, Ball and I left their house on lakeway just before 10AM. The drive down was fine, until I made a joke about Ball helping me with my driving (the joke was that he was stupid for thinking I needed help, because I'm the driving queen... Of course I don't actually think he was stupid, I was just joking around...) and then Ball decided to get upset and be a whiny little prick until we got to airport. "Sorry for trying to help you!!" He would say, and I would tell him "I wasn't mad; there's nothing to apologize for except now you're being a total dick!" And so on. Yes, an argument followed by steamed silence for the rest of the drive - thankfully only about 15-20 minutes - on our last day together. How stupid are we, right? Anyways when we got to the airport and found parking Ball and I figured out shit out like we always do and once they left, Mikki and I cried and she ran up the down elevator and we counted 19 good looking Asian guys not including our boyfriends before we started feeling guilty about it and left.
Ball and Boat's flight was supposed to leave at 1:15 - it got delayed until 4:50, and then again until 6pm if not overnight - poor boys had to wait around all fuckin' day! However they did end up boarding the flight just before 6pm, and now I'm sitting at home anxiously waiting for tomorrow evening to come when I get to hear from my beautiful Thai boy.

Moving on to more interesting topics: My mother, I found out today, is going to wake up early tomorrow and go pick up dj from his apartment and take him to the shuttle bus on lakeway - because apparently he can't take the bus from one part of bellingham to another. Yeah, she isn't looking forward to it (mind you, none of my parents like him at all), and when I told her he was deathly afraid of cats (pathetic, right?) she said she was tempted to bring Goober along in the car and tell dj we were 'car training' him. LOL. Then she asked if I wanted to come with, and I told her that it wouldn't be good if I hurt him which I definitely would if I was in a car with him and so she's going to bring Jackdog with her and I told Jackdog to bite him - "Jack, you have to bite him ok? He's the one with white hair and a stupid face. Bite him hard, ok?" Jack looked at my eyes when I said it, then went back to sleep. We'll see how it goes. This is why I need a ferocious beast to be my PIC rather than a pet dog. I could have my beast rip the fuck outta people like dj, and who the hell is gonna stop my beast? Try and stop my beast and you may find yourself ripped up also. Just sayin'.

I'm rereading Legacy - restarting it, anyway, but who knows how long it'll take me to finish - and I'm also in the middle of Skylight Confessions. I've been interested in cooking lately, so I think my summer will consist of work, cooking, reading, riding my horse and possibly others, hanging out with my friends (probably only Rowan, Mikki and Kirsten), and going to Seattle.

Speaking of Seattle... Rowan and I had briefly talked about wanting to go to Seattle for a few days to wander around and see what's what. We made no official plans, but just promised to try and figure out money and timing for it. I told my mom about it and my mom thinks it's a great idea and would love to come with us if she has the time, and if not that my Aunt Sanda will most likely love to have us stay at her house in Bothell - that right there takes care of where we'd stay... And I want to go with just Rowan and Mikki, if not also my mother. I hope it works out... I want to explore Seattle with my two best friends!!!

Now, since it's 11:15pm and I really need to sleep for 13 hours just to pass the time... lol just kidding I'll probably only sleep for 7 or 8.... Either way I'm going to sleep now. 

FHS/WHS senior graduation yr 2011.

No reason for me to sit through a 2 & a half hour ceremony outside in the wind & rain for a sister who is never home, doesn't care about anyone else in her family, and only uses her parents for money. So, why did I go? Because I'm stupid? Yes. Because Kayla told me she wanted me to go? Yes.

Fuck.

Let's just say, it was a bad experience. And now, it's the evening before my lovely Ball is leaving for three months. Not to forget that my lovely Rowan is also leaving, but she's only leaving for a week, I'll be with her all summer aside from this first week, and she's not my boyfriend. Anyways... You'd think I'd spend my last day with him actually with him, but, no. I chose a goddamn graduation over him - although throughout the entire day with her, she ignored my existence 98% of the time. And after the graduation, I had to go to lunch with my Dad's side of the family and my sisters, and Kayla's boyfriend. You know, the little pipsqueak that I can't fucking stand worth shit. I really, and I know I'm probably selfish for saying this, hate seeing him around my family. It's my family. You can't do what you've done to me and one of my closest friends and then hang out with my family like you fit in, like you're welcomed, like anyone should give you the time of day. No. My entire lunch I wanted to take my little knife out of my pocket and put it right up against his throat like he did to me with that huge one, and tell him just what he told me, "I'm not afraid to use this," and then prove my words to be true by slashing his fucking throat. Now, when he's not around my family, I couldn't care less about him. Fuckin' marry my sister, I don't care, just don't come near my family. It's people that love me, and have loved me for 17 years, and have taken care of me and raised me to be who I am today, and you think you can come in and give them your fake little smile and get their fucking approval. If my family knew what you had done to me, they would make sure you were fucking sent back to Mongolia. So don't give them that stupid goddamn smile like you're such a sweet fuckin' polite-ass kid, that's fucking complete bullshit.

Anyways. That's my venting, I'm done now.

My Grandma Ba will be home soon and wants to go meet the baby goat, BooBoo, out at Faith. Once I've shown her BooBoo I'm going to sit around and watch TV until Ball gets here around 8... and then I'm going to curl up in a ball in his arms and tell him he's a stupid dick for leaving. Except not really, I'm just still being over dramatic and stupid because of dj. Most likely we'll end up watching a movie and falling asleep, like usual. And tomorrow Mikki and I are driving Ball and Boat to Seattle to the airport to see them off. And then Mikki and I are going to cry, and then celebrate, and then listen to good music all the way home, and if it rains I'll be angry.

I also currently have a hangnail.

Lately... I really like cooking.

And today it took me practically forever to find cream of tartar and lemon curd in the grocery store.

.. That's all 

Wednesday: Saving a bunny.

So apparently, the little wild creatures around my house are just begging for my animals to try to kill them. I got home today and let the dogs outside, and then I started playing ball with Jack. About 10 minutes later, Marley comes running up to me with something in her mouth that is not a toy. I thought it was a mouse at first, and was grossed out and told her to drop it (she was running full speed at me to show what she'd caught). Only when it was lying on the deck did I realize, it's a bunny. A tiny, cute little fluffy BUNNY. It was still alive, and scared out of its mind. I scolded Marley for hurting a bunny, then put all the dogs (aside from Jack who didn't even realize there was a dying bunny on the deck - ball) inside; Oliver especially wanted to eat the poor bunny. I then proceeded to take the bunny with a paper towel and put him in a shoebox (the same one the snake, Simon, was put in), with clovers, carrots and a bowl of water. Of course the entire time I was doing this, I was on the phone with Ball, who didn't seem to care very much until I sent him the photo which showed the baby bunny in the box and he saw how cute and innocent it looked; then he felt sorry for it. Now he's sitting in the box next to me inside where it's warm, and I'm not sure how he's doing - I want to let him calm down and try not to be so scared before I really looked at his injuries. He's not bleeding bad enough that I can tell, however there is blood on the paper towel from where I picked him up. I think I'll name this bunny Vincent. Because... That's what I think of when I look at him.

Vincent.
I'll post photos of him in a bit.

Sunday: saving a snake

My parents and sisters are gone for the weekend, and so my mother told Ball and I that we had to take care of Jack and Oliver - meaning that they were okay with Ball staying at our house with me for the weekend. That's great and all, he stayed over and I woke up in his arms with the light shining through the windows and dogs laying all over us.

We got up around 10, fed the dogs, I made coffee and he began to play ball with Jack. I was on my way to let Luna out front, and I noticed Bandit and Goober lounging casually in the front walkway in the sun, Goober looking exceptionally pleased with himself. There was a little dark pile that looked like a short cord beside him, and after a moment I realized it was a snake. I went out to it, petting Goober and looking at the damage the poor garter snake had. There was blood all around the poor creature, and it was looking like it was barely hanging on. I scolded Goober for attacking such an innocent thing; anyways the garter snakes are good for my garden, and Goober should stick to the mice. I knew I had to save the snake, so I took Goober and put him out back with Ball and the dogs, and then grabbed a paper towel and gently put the snake on it. The blood seeped through the towel just a bit, and the snake flashed his tongue a few times. I brought him inside on the paper towel and set him beside my laptop - time to do some quick research, seeing as that I've never had any experience with snakes.

Surprisingly to me, there wasn't much info at all about saving garter snakes, but I found enough to help me. I put him in one of Kayla's shoeboxes with two layers of paper towels, put a small dish of water in, and went out to find a small worm for him to eat if he was hungry. I stabbed holes in the lid of the box and closed the snake up, then set him on top of my desk in the light by my window where's he's warm but there is a slight breeze.

Ball, I found out, does not like snakes and thinks they're gross, so he wouldn't go near the snake and suggested I keep it warm by putting it in the oven - ha freakin ha. Anyways after a while I checked on him and he seemed a bit more lively, which is good. Now I'll just have to make sure he stays warm and see how he does... and hopefully within a few days I can release him in my garden.

Rowan is coming to meet him now, and the two of us will most likely give him a name. I'll keep his status updated until his release. :)

Expanding the garden

:) Yesterday my grandmother came to visit from Tacoma. I took her to Faith and showed her around, then WCC. We also went Red Robin with Tierney for lunch, and then we went to the Bakerview Nursery in Bellingham. She bought a purple clematis, and I bought a rose plant called "Falling In Love".

When I got home, Ray and I planted 12 tomato plants, 5 spinach plants, and one Thai pepper, and then Ball helped us plant our clematis, wisteria, a yellow flowering bush (I forget the actual name of the plant) and my rose plant. Our plan is to plant my willow tree (which I named Abby, btw), the soybeans and sugar peas, and a few other vegetables (carrots, turnips etc) sometime next week. This is, of course, in addition to our strawberries, lavender, various mints, leeks, lettuce, rosemary, dahlias, cucumbers, cilantro, jalapeños and sweet peppers. This year will be our biggest garden yet. <3

I'm really happy about my garden :) and I'll be posting photos tomorrow after I work in the garden all day, making it look pretty =p

Anyways. That's all.
:D

love.

That's what my coffee cup says, anyway.


When it comes to love, for me, I think of animals, and nature, and family. Of course I also love my iPod and I love my phone and I love my laptop... But those things are all a greedy obsession, which is one most humans share today. What most people today are lacking is a love and appreciation for the earth we live on. These days, people have gotten so bad that if you even say something like what I just said, then everyone is just calling you a tree-hugger or whatever else. No. Appreciation for our beautiful Earth is perfectly reasonable for anyone regardless of their tree-hugging status. Ever since I was in elementary school, my peers have called me that. When I was younger, I would simply say, "Yeah, I do hug trees. They're nicer than you." or something of that sort. It wasn't true, I think in my life I've only hugged a tree maybe once or twice, and then only to see if I could reach my arms all the way around it. However I've always had a good, deep connection with Earth. When I was a baby, people were almost frightened by me, because they would look into my eyes and not see the innocent baby they were looking at, but they would see wise, soulful eyes that threatened to expose all your deepest secrets. My mama says it's because I have an "old-soul". Perhaps in a previous life I learned the lessons many do, and I kept them with me through to my new life. Either way... I do seem like a crazy, energetic teenage girl with an unbound amount of moxie - and this is true, I am - but there's that side of me that rarely people see. That side that knows your secrets and knows Earth better than family. When I look into your eyes, and I steal your secrets, feel secure in the fact that I wont tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me. 


Now that I'm done being strange...

Enjoy the beautiful weather we've been having. ^_^

Oh the spring of 2011

It's almost over - summer is so close I can taste it!
Tonight, Boat, Ball, Mikki and Aaliyah will be joining me for a movie ^_^
Anyways they'll be here shortly so I'll make this quick...

SKYY IS AMAZING <3